Hamburger Theology
Catholic theologian Massimo Salani recently condemned fast-food hamburgers as a Protestant tradition inappropriate for Catholics. Eating burgers and fries, he wrote in the Italian bishops' daily paper Avvenire, reflects an "individualistic relationship between man and God which goes back to (Martin) Luther," reported Agence France-Presse.

The target of Salani's ire, fast-food giant McDonald's, was quick to defend its religious pluralism: "[We serve] customers of all races and religions and we adapt to all cultures and tastes." Kosher burgers are served in Israel, a company spokesperson said, and no beef at all is served in India where cows are considered sacred.

Salani, author of the book At Table with Religions, went on to say that Protestants eat badly, Catholics eat too much, and that Muslims have an unbalanced diet. While he holds Christians ultimately responsible for the triumph of fast food throughout the world he has yet to publish on the theological implications of other cultural phenomena related to fast-food service, such as drive-through windows, sporks, and the "Rugrats in Paris" kiddie meal.

Compensating a Bad Rebirth
Buddhists believe that death is a process. Life is not like a light switch, either on or off; death is the gradual disassembling of the various elements that comprise life. When a Buddhist dies, tradition prescribes that the body lie in state for seven days, a crucial transition period between this life and the next. Emory University professor of religion Eric R. Reinders says, "The moment of death is very important—the approach to it and the time immediately after. That's the time when your next birth will be decided."

When Wages and Sons Funeral Home in Atlanta, Georgia, cremated Khin Tep on the day of his clinical death instead of seven days later, his family believes, they doomed him to a dreadful rebirth. Richard D. Hobbs, the family's lawyer, said that the funeral home had performed a Buddhist funeral service before, and that the staff knew what the family expected. But Georgia law doesn't have much to say about making reparations for an unfavorable reincarnation, according to the Fulton County Daily Report.

Hobbs proposed a singularly American solution: a new tort, "denial of closure." His goal is to establish a new legal principle about a family's right to attend to their dead in a manner congruent with their faith. The principle might also apply to someone who hides a body after a murder, for example, denying the family a proper burial.

Hobbs asks $2 million for Tep's family. In a letter to the funeral home's insurance company, he wrote "I am very confident that the emotional strain this family has endured this past year will transcend to a jury very well." And maybe that's what tort law is all about: karmic payback.