SM, 55, ISO A 40-65 WHO IS ATHLETIC,
likes movies (Annie Hall, Love Story, Dax's Case), walking in the rain and talking about living wills, and is open to PAS.

WANT TO BE AN ACADEMIC STAR
Can't master the style? Spend anxious hours in front of the mirror at academic conferences, unsure whether to challenge the patriarchy or subvert the gender binary? Our experienced coaches will create an intellectual identity just for you. Call us for a professional consultation. We don't just do theories: we do hair!

WANT TO SEE THE BEETLE IN MY BOX?
Lonely, solipsistic Wittgensteinian seeks like-minded partner to share his private language. Let's talk about logic and our sins.

QUIRKY, PERKY HEIDEGERRIAN
seeks buff Sartrean for existential frolics. Let me be your nothingness, baby. Authentic inquiries only.

SLIM, BLUE-EYED, SENSITIVE
consequentialist man ISO an old-fashioned philosopher who is interested in a good time without concern for the future. Willing to accept rule or act types.

SPANK ME FOR MY SLOPPY
syllogisms! Naughty single bioethicist with Ph.D. in philosophy seeks dominatrix with basic background in Aristotelean logic. Make me consent.

SINGLE MALE CLINICAL ETHICIST,
Pellegrino look-alike, seeks single female ethicist for long walks, sensitive talks, and occasional coauthoring. Must be willing to leave principles at home.

RECENTLY DIVORCED WOMAN
recovering from long-term relationship with a care ethicist. I am looking for a hospital attorney or risk manager who just wants to have a good time without constantly asking about my feelings. Please, no virtue ethicist; been there, done that.

HELP ME OUT OF THE CLOSET!
Inside this deontologist is a shy casuist longing to get out. Looking for a man with cases who knows his mid-level theory and can show me a good bottom-up time. Please, no druggies or principlists.

SINGLE, LONELY, RUBENESQUE
communitarian, 50 years old, divorced three times, looking for someone to be a friend. I am a shy philosopher who believes in the Social Good but I cannot stand dinner parties with more than two people.

NARRATIVE ETHICS WOMAN
looking for a man who can help me jazz up my boring life story. Interested in postmodern meals, postcolonial long walks, poststructuralist conversations, and postmodern mind games. I need a man who can respect my autonomy.