SEXUALITY IN GENERAL
The Church of the Heavenly Harvest (or "Harvesters") decries the need in contemporary society to resort to sex whenever procreation is desired. It looks forward to the day when modern science will make artificial insemination so cost-effective, that sex will no longer be necessary.

MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, AND REMARRIAGE
The Church of the Heavenly Harvest supports marriage as well as remarriage, but not divorce. The denomination has had a difficult time figuring out the logistics of this position. As a result, the liberal wing of the denomination has introduced legislation to permit divorce, if at least one marriage partner has someone new waiting in the wings. Traditionalists voted down the proposal, citing the traditional Harvester position that divorce should only be allowed where one partner can be shown to have had sex with a Jewish boy.

ADULT NON-MARRIED SEXUALITY
Simply not permitted. In fact, even talking about it can lead to a severe tongue-lashing. To be perfectly honest, just reading this sentence could get a Harvester into a lot of hot water.

ADOLESCENT SEXUALITY
This, the Harvesters agree, is some pretty hot stuff.

HOMOSEXUALITY
Only lesbianism is permitted, but, strangely enough, only between men. The result is that lesbianism is a very rarely seen phenomenon among the Harvesters. (The Harvesters base their position on Leviticus 6:24: "And a man touched another man's vagina, and, yea, it was very good." They are currently looking into the possibility that their in-house Hebrew scholar may have pulled one over on them.)

CONTRACEPTION
Should be used by Harvesters at all times, so they can keep up the appearance that no one's actually doing anything naughty. Nothing blows one's claims of chastity out of the water like an belly full of baby.

ABORTION
In the perfect Harvester world, everyone would have their tubes tied and no one would be having sex anyway, so abortion wouldn't be an issue. In the meantime, the Harvesters want it banned in all cases, except when a pastor's daughter is involved.

ASSISTED REPRODUCTION
The Harvesters support assisted reproduction, but believe that when a woman is having difficulty getting pregnant, it should be one of the deacons of the church who provides the "assistance."

HIV/AIDS
The Harvesters believe AIDS is a punishment from God for being a hemophiliac.

ROLE OF WOMEN
Women in the Church of the Heavenly Harvest are called on to be submissive in all loving kindness to the headship of their husbands. Or, if they don't have a husband, to their father, brothers, or sons. Or, barring any male relative to whom they may readily subject themselves, they should submit themselves in all feminine humility to the first guy they meet on the street when they leave the house in the morning.