How do you create rituals for people who have few memories of the loved one they have lost? "When an older person dies, each religion has its set rituals," says Beverly Kravitt. "In the case of a baby dying at birth, nobody has known that child, so there are no communal memories."

Beverly and Jason Kravitt started the Cameron Kravitt Foundation in 1982 in memory of their son, who was stillborn. The Kravitt Foundation helps support programs like the one at Ravenswood Community Hospital in Chicago.

In trying to help families cope with miscarriage and infant death, Dr. Carroll Cradock, director of the Community Mental Health Center, and Hope Hornstein, the assistant director of Consultation and Education, have instituted a staff-education program that provides both patient and caregiver with tools to address the unique pain and sadness of such a loss. They and other healthcare professionals have found that ritual plays an important role. "We try to educate the medical staff to help families integrate this experience with their own religious rituals," says Cradock.

Remembrance plays a central role in rituals that deal with loss, and objects are vital to it. "One of the worst things for people is that they come to the hospital, lose their child, and then leave empty-handed, with nothing," says Cradock. "We give them memory boxes so that they have something they can take with them." The memory box contains the baby's hospital bracelet, the baby's footprints, a tiny handmade gown, even a photograph.

Lutheran General Hospital of Park Ridge, Illinois; Ravenswood; and other hospitals now offer memorial services several times a year for the families of all children under the age of 18 who died there. At Lutheran General, that includes a candle marked with each child's name. If family is not able to be present, a staff member who cared for the child will be. "The room is filled with parents who've lost a child," says Kathy Kobler, R.N., Lutheran General's bereavement coordinator. "The last time they were here, their child died, and yet they choose to come back. There is such a need for recognition of parents who are grieving."